Beautiful When She Was Angry
by AbayJ
Summary: A Lusty Eppy filler for 89.


**Title**: Beautiful When She Was Angry  
  
**Author**: Ashley Marie  
  
**Couple**: Lusty.  
  
**Genre**: Darma/Angst/Songfic/Completed  
  
**Archive**: Just Ask  
  
**Rating**: R  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nuttin. Song, Close My Eyes, belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls  
  
**Summery**: Dusty POV at the hospital. Kind of an eppy filler.  
  
**A/N**: Okay, this is kind of different for me, because I rarely write to go alone with a story line and in first person. I'm not very good at it but I was listening to my Goo Goo Dolls CD and this song just fit to me. Especially after 8/9 eppy. So tell me what you thought. Love, Ashley Marie.

* * *

_I wish I had a saxophone  
I'd play the blues 'til you came home  
With a little sadness in your eye  
Now that all my time was spent  
In the walk that heaven sent  
Thinking 'bout all the nights you cried_  
  
She looked at me like I was scum. Pure scum. Nothing better then bug that you stepped on. Shaking his head, he gave Craig another glance as they both walked into the room. Father and daughter.  
  
No, that was more like kidnapper and daughter, I corrected myself. Craig wasn't a father, he was just a weak jealous man. A man that was jealous of his own daughter relationship with her mother. It made me sick. But then again, I was the bad guy right. Not Craig. Craig walked on water to Lucy.  
  
'Well, isn't that how it supposed to be Donavan,' that annoying voice in the back of my head chirped up and I felt like shouting a no. But talking to oneself in a hospital wasn't the best thing. Especially with the psyche ward not far from ICU, I thought to myself. As much as I hated to admit it, it had hurt me. Hurt me to watch the disgust that filled my princess's eyes when I said her father was the one that had set this up.  
  
Why couldn't she see the damn clues! They were right in front of her eyes!  
  
Okay Donavan no reason to get mad at Lucy, I reasoned with myself, she was a just a pawn. A pawn in this sick twisted game of cat and mouse. Between two parents who were both tugging her in different direction. None of them caring about Lucy. Not even me. That brought sadness to my heart. Lucy was all alone in this big world. Kind of like me.  
  
We are both alone. Maybe.....no, I can't think those kind of thoughts.  
  
Sitting down I ran my hand over my rough face. After everything we have been through, she still couldn't trust me. That was what got me. I had saved her, time and time again, but she didn't effing trust me!  
  
_Had a certain passion  
And I had surly dreams  
A look of vicious actions  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Oh don't close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me_  
  
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to stay here, maybe I should hit the road. Every time I looked into that glass window, and saw Alan still asleep it tore me apart. Knowing that he maybe loosing Lucy if he didn't. 'What did we say about those thoughts Dusty,' the voice piped up again and I rolled my eyes. I must have been going crazy, 'cause these voice were beginning to sound like real people. Shaking my head, I got up, and walked back to the glass one more time.  
  
I had to talk to her, before I left. It could be the last time I saw her soft face.  
  
Her eyes found mine. Quickly. She knew my gaze, for some reason that kinda made me feel warm inside. I crooked my finger at her and pointed at my feet. Where I wanted her.  
  
I saw her give an excuse to Craig and then Sierra, both kissing her on the head. Like I did.  
  
The she was standing in front of me, in a huff. Her eyes blazin'. That old adage came back to me. 'She was beautiful when she was angry.'  
  
Reaching out, I ran a finger over her cheek bone and couldn't help but let out a smirk when she shivered at my touch. My touch made her shiver. 'Like that's a big deal Donavan, a lot of women had shivered at your touch before,' once again the annoying voice spoke. 'Shut up,' I answered back silently. Letting my gaze go back to Lucy. Focusing on her. Only her.  
  
Not like it was that hard. She was so captivating and beautiful.  
  
But her voice broke me out of my thoughts of her. Her voice haughty and angry.  
  
"What do you want Donavan?"  
  
"We need to talk Princess," I said softly. Wanting nothing more then to pull her into my arms and make that sad doe eye look leave her eyes. With a kiss maybe. With a hug. With my love making. Anything to make her smile.  
  
"I thought we said everything we needed to at the house."  
  
This time her voice was tight, trying to hold back the hurt I knew she was feeling.  
  
_I wish I had a camera lens  
To film the things my mind had said  
Before they reached my mouth and got all bad  
Looking at the skies of blue  
All day long I think of you  
Even after all the shit we've been through_  
  
"No, you said all you had to say to me, you didn't give me a chance, so give it to me now," I asked her, no make that pleaded with her.  
  
"No, you see you said all you needed to, to make me know I could **NEVER** trust you. All those things you said about my father their lies. **Pure lies**!"  
  
I felt my heart break at how harsh her words were. How cruel they sounded to my ears.  
  
"Baby, your wrong, but please I want to call a truce with you. That is why I wanted you here. That is why I asked you to come out here. Baby, please, I just want you know you can trust me," my voice sounded so broke. Foreign to my ears.  
  
'That's cause your a broke man. No good for her,' the voice put me down once again but this time I knew it was right. I was no good for her, but neither was Craig and who said he wouldn't do this again? Maybe even kill her this time. I couldn't let that happen!  
  
"Look Dusty, just leave me and **MY** family alone."  
  
Her voice was final and it showed her decision plane and clear.  
  
I watched her start to walk away but I couldn't let her do it, couldn't let her walk away from this. This ride we had just started. I wanted to see where this went. I wanted to be in it for the long haul, so I grabbed her arm. Pulling her back to me. Her small frame fitting my body to a T. We were a perfect match. No matter what she said.  
  
I settled my lips over hers and kissed her. A punishing kiss. A deep kiss. A hard kiss. A demanding kiss. A possessive kiss. Showing her all I felt for her. Showing her she was mine.  
  
Then a pulled away, letting myself drown in her eyes like I always did. "Now walk away," my voice telling her not though.  
  
She just looked at me, like a deer in the headlights. Torn. I could tell, she was torn. Part of her wanting to kiss him again and the other part of her wanting to walk back into this room. I could see the war going on inside her.  
  
_Had a certain passion  
And I had surly dreams  
A look of vicious actions  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Please don't close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me_  
  
"Don't push me away," I let out the pained words. My soul was bared to her and my heart. If she wanted it was hers to step on. Crush. But silently I asked her to tread lightly.  
  
"Dusty..."  
  
Her own words were pained and I couldn't take it anymore. I let my lips settle over hers again, kissing her deeply. Gently.  
  
"Don't go back in there," my voice no more a whisper against her soft lips.  
  
"How can you ask me that?"  
  
Once again her words were angry and I felt my soul take another scare. Another puch. Another hit. One more and I knew it would fall apart. I would fall apart.  
  
"Because I care about you," I stroked her cheek. Kissing her softly again. "Please don't close me off."  
  
"Look....I--I need to get b--back in there I--I will um will call you."  
  
She pulled out of my arms and ran into the hospital room.  
  
Walking slowly to the elevator, I tired to smile but failed miserably. 'It's better then a no, right Donavan,' I heard the voice say softly to him.  
  
"Now your on my side," I said openly to the voice, not caring who heard me.  
  
'Yeah, cause now I know you care about her,' it said back and I smiled. At least someone did.  
  
_Oh don't close your eyes to me  
Close your eyes to me  
Close your eyes to me  
Eyes to me  
Close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Close your eyes to me  
Close your eyes to me  
Don't close your eyes to me  
Eyes to me_


End file.
